goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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