All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
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