So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
