We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
