i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
