dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
