Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
