i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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