Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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