Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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