i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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