There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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