Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
