super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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