Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
