You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
