stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
