he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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