But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
