After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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