but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
