I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
