Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
