you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
