There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
why didn't you poke me back
i just had sex bonerless
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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