he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
