i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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