do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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