i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We are all done wearing pants today
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
