Sponge bath it is.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
