That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
