So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
