im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
