my room smells like sperm. sweet.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
sex in a hospital.. check
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
