Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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