Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
