how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
did you just send me my own nude
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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