oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
