you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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