hotel room ftw
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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