Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
