Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize