Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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