my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
