Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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