You smell like stripper and shame
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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