I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
