Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
