Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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