just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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