ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
