just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
