I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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