Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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