ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
