chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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