I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm at about main and main street
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize