But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
