I just cut my nipple shaving
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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