Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
there is glitter all over my balls
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