why didn't you poke me back
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
